‘It is often the case that great people are overlooked. Recognition often finds them when it is too late and when it is to the benefit of the parasitical. I love you for who you are and that is all that matters’, she whispered. ‘Do you mean that’? He replies ‘I just want to live’, and he falls asleep.
‘Oh, I love this tune’, says Jim, ‘it’s wicked’! Aidan looks at him lost and confused, ‘are you rubbing it in again’. Jim is driving Aidan to work in an old burnt out Transit that chugs its way along. The exterior of the vehicle is dirty and rusted and it does 0-60 in about three days. It is another day fitting kitchens; which is a nice earner for Jim. Jim is happy to accept life for what it is and simply plods along in acquiescence; so long as the misses is happy with her opulent lifestyle and Jim can have his beer tokens – life is the epitome of all joy. Aidan on the other hand is here to earn a bit of money to survive and he only gets the occasional shift from Jim. Money is not an object for Aidan, his issues run much more profoundly. ‘I’m not rubbing it in – don’t be so fucking touchy. What, is your misses pissing you off again? I just forgot – why don’t you just buy one you fool’? Jim utters. ‘I don’t believe in it’, responds Aidan. ‘Look mate, she’s no good for you. You do your best to make her happy. When she’s in bother – bang – you’re there, and how does she respond when you need her? She fucks off and has a good time’. ‘There’s nothing wrong with enjoying yourself’, mumbles Aidan.
The kitchen is old and in dire need of refurbishment. Most of the domestic equipment has already been removed and just a 70s style refrigerator remains, and complete with broken seals. ‘I asked him to leave it for the beers’, declares Jim. The cupboards that remain on the floor and on the upper walls are old and battered; they have to be removed and no care needs to be taken, which is ideal for Aidan who is keen to smash them off the wall, BANG, BANG! ‘Hold on Aidan, I’ve got a phone call’. Jim talks away on his phone, ‘Yeah, I’m working with Aidan today. No, you can’t talk to him as you know; I will pass over the message. I know, I know – I was banging on about it with him this morning.’
Another long day over and Aidan is dropped off at his mothers. ‘I will pick you up at eight. If I’m held up, I will let your mum know as you’re staying there tonight.’ Aidan gives a sullen nod and walks into his mother’s home. He can hear the noises of screaming children and the giggles of adults. As he enters the lounge he can see family and friends gathered around the TV set and a couple of the children holding joypads. ‘Uncle Aidan, do you want to play my PSP’? ‘No, thanks - you play it’. Aidan smiles and places himself amid his family. He looks content as he watches the blank screen before him, whilst doing his utmost to join in on their laughter and excitement. ‘Can you turn it down a bit’, says the mother. Aidan is disaffected – he cannot hear any sounds emitting from the TV. ‘Aidan’, calls his mother, ‘it’s Geoff on the phone – he wants to meet you at the Corn Exchange for a few beers’.
It is Friday night and as ever the Corn Exchange is rammed. Aidan spends fifteen minutes forcing his way through the claustrophobic crowd until he finds Geoff who has fortunately already got the drinks in. The venue is dark with a small amount of light being generated from the wide bar that is adorned with a plethora of alcoholic beverages. KRONENBOURG, WKD, AFTERSHOCK appear superimposed on the large glass background – ‘Got any Absinth’? A punter exclaims. The din of muttering, the odd scream and the air of excitement surround Aidan while the bulk of the patrons dance in disarray. ‘This is a thumping beat – I love Hardhouse, don’t you? Ah, wow – strobe effects – come on! Dance you boring bastard’! Aidan sups away at his beer with apathy and ignores Geoff. ‘What’s up with you’, remarks a young girl who shakes her chest as if to tease Aidan. She has long dark hair and light blue eyes that exude a certain degree of coldness. Her wide eyes are enhanced by the bright red lip stick that gives life to her lips; the apparent coldness of which is now corrupted. She holds a beverage in the air as if it is a trophy. ‘You ain’t got one have you? Oi, girls! He ain’t got one, ha, ha’. Her friends coalesce with her as a body of ridicule, and lean into one another like some malignant force bent on insult. Aidan is indifferent and ignores the puerile chorus; it allows his beer to become even more refreshing. Geoff approaches as if to aid him, ‘Why don’t you just get one? I don’t understand’. ‘I don’t want to be like them. I am me – not the masses: nor am I a portion of it. I am distinct’. ‘You’re crazy Aidan, good luck to you, mate. Meanwhile, I’m going to have myself a good time’, and he disappears into the crowd.
‘Can I buy one please’, says Aidan. ‘I am sorry sir, but we do not stock them here. They are only available online’, retorts the salesman. If anybody sold them, surely it would be Dixons – they sell all that is electronic. Aidan gives admiration to the cornucopia of digital cameras; printers; MP3 players and even the blackened HD televisions that are a constant attraction to customers that comment on the picture quality. ‘I wish I could see the quality; hear what they hear; know what they know. I thought heart and mind was the soul of existence, but I must acquiesce if I am to be a part of something. In love I find happiness; in that I need another. There is no other like me – for love is reciprocal. I cannot give them what they want and vice versa. With material I might bestow happiness and therefore initiate love. Maybe if I get one, I will know what she wants and she might finally know me: maybe reciprocation can find us. I am an anomaly’.
Aidan finds a local library so as to gain access to the internet. ‘Excuse me, how does this work’? He asks the librarian. She spends some minutes showing Aidan what to do, but the blank screen reveals nothing. ‘You don’t have one do you? Here, allow me. Everybody should have one – they really do change your life’, she advocates. Aidan rubs his eyes and holds back the tears, ‘I just want to live’.
The next day there is a knock at his mother’s door. ‘Aidan! There’s a parcel for you’, calls his mother. Aidan races down the stairs and retrieves the parcel and runs back up to his room. He impetuously tears away at the packaging revealing the box inside which reads ‘Subliminal Persuasion Chip’. There is a small instruction booklet, a syringe and a tiny chip in a sealed plastic bag. He quickly browses through the instructions, and to his horror, he must inject the chip into his eye; desperate and eager to change his life he decides that getting drunk will soften the pain. After a bottle of whisky and many woeful tears he inserts the chip into the syringe and pushes it into his right eye. The pain is excruciating but he manages to depress the syringe and insert the chip. He falls to the floor unconscious.
He awakes next day with a tight pain in his right eye. The instructions said this would last for a couple of days, but the pain would subside and loss of sight would be restored. The world looks different now. He races down the stairs and he can hear music blaring out of the radio in his mother’s kitchen and in the lounge ha can witness the flashing images on the TV. His young nephew is there alone playing on a PS2. Without hesitation he grabs the joypad away from him and plays a game, ‘Oi!’ cries his nephew, ‘Wow, this is so cool’! yells Aidan with excitement. The phone rings and it is Jim. ‘Jim, I got one, I got one. I can hear you it’s amazing’! He spends hours calling friends and family on the phone. He goes to clubs and admires the differentiating lighting effects and thumping beats… Life is great!
After some days when the excitement has subsided and he has become accustomed to his new life, something happens in Aidan. Things are great with his girlfriend, but though he can talk to her on the phone as well as is person, the sounds seem like a sanitized version of reality. He no loner recognises the dialogue as speech, but just random sounds with no meaning. He begins to find this with his family and friends. Gradually Aidan becomes more and more introverted; particularly when he discovers the internet. He finds he no longer needs ‘real’ people. Cyberspace has created a world in which he is in complete control. He can do whatever he feels and whatever he wants – and he can be whoever he likes. In this place – he has omnipotence, omniscience and omnipresence: Aidan believes he is God…and he has a plan.
